Outer Child - Revision history

Savoundg: /* Outer Child */

2022-03-29T17:23:16Z

Outer Child

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:23, 29 March 2022
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	* can express anger by being overly passive		* can express anger by being overly passive
	* compliance to make others think he does not want control		* compliance to make others think he does not want control
	* acts and ~~believe~~ his own act		* acts and believes his own act
	\|-		\|-
	\|is demanding		\|is demanding

Savoundg at 17:13, 29 March 2022

2022-03-29T17:13:59Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:13, 29 March 2022
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	* achieve your goals		* achieve your goals
	* to be ''strengthen''		* to be ''strengthen''
			* Freud's ego
	\|}		\|}

Savoundg: /* Letters to the Outer Child */

2022-03-29T17:11:44Z

Letters to the Outer Child

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:11, 29 March 2022
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	* List your goals: "My goals are: ..."		* List your goals: "My goals are: ..."
	* List what interferes with you goals: "My goal is ... and my Outer Child interferes by ..."		* List what interferes with you goals: "My goal is ... and my Outer Child interferes by ..."
	* List behaviours you would like to perform to help reach your goals: "My goal is ... and I would like to do to reach it: ..."		* List behaviours you would like to perform to help reach your goals: "My goal is ... and here what I would like to do to reach my goal: ..."

	==== Dialog between the Adult Self and the Inner Child ====		==== Dialog between the Adult Self and the Inner Child ====
	* List what you feel about your goals: "My goal is ... and I have not reached it yet. My Inner Child feels the following ways about it: ..."		* List what you feel about your goals: "My goal is ... and I have not reached it yet. My Inner Child feels the following ways about it: ..."
			*

Savoundg at 07:10, 29 March 2022

2022-03-29T07:10:45Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:10, 29 March 2022
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	* developed during early childhood		* developed during early childhood
	* emotional core, innocent, vulnerable, obstinate, selfish, impulsive, knee-jerk reaction		* emotional core, innocent, vulnerable, obstinate, selfish, impulsive, knee-jerk reaction
	* Needs to be heard ~~and~~ honored		* Needs to be heard, honored, loved
	* to be ''calmed''		* to be ''calmed''
	* origin of primal fears seated in the amygdala		* origin of primal fears seated in the amygdala
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	\|-		\|-
	\|Adult Self		\|Adult Self
			(Big You)
	\|		\|
	* nurture Inner Child		* nurture Inner Child
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	* believes what it wants to believe		* believes what it wants to believe
	\|}		\|}
	~~Step 1:~~ Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child)
			=== Separation Therapy ===
			Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child) by giving a voice to those three parts of the psyche by writing letters to the outer child and dialogs between the becoming Adult Self and the inner child.

			==== Letters to the Outer Child ====
			* List your goals: "My goals are: ..."
			* List what interferes with you goals: "My goal is ... and my Outer Child interferes by ..."
			* List behaviours you would like to perform to help reach your goals: "My goal is ... and I would like to do to reach it: ..."

			==== Dialog between the Adult Self and the Inner Child ====
			* List what you feel about your goals: "My goal is ... and I have not reached it yet. My Inner Child feels the following ways about it: ..."

Savoundg at 06:57, 29 March 2022

2022-03-29T06:57:48Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:57, 29 March 2022
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	Outer Child theory is discovered by Susan Anderson and described in ''Taming Your Outer Child''.		Outer Child theory is discovered by Susan Anderson and is described in ''Taming Your Outer Child''.

	{\| class="wikitable"		{\| class="wikitable"
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	* Needs to be heard and honored		* Needs to be heard and honored
	* to be ''calmed''		* to be ''calmed''
			* origin of primal fears seated in the amygdala
			* part of Freud's Id
	\|-		\|-
	\|Outer Child		\|Outer Child
Line 24:		Line 26:
	* interferes in the internal dialog between Inner Child and Adult Self		* interferes in the internal dialog between Inner Child and Adult Self
	* to be ''tamed''		* to be ''tamed''
			* part of Freud's Id
	\|-		\|-
	\|Adult Self		\|Adult Self
Line 37:		Line 40:
	\|+		\|+
	!Outer Child		!Outer Child
	!
	!
	!		!
	\|-		\|-
	\|is excessive		\|is excessive
	\|spending, binge eating		\|spending, binge eating
	\|
	\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|is drama queen		\|is drama queen
	\|		\|
	* plays the victim, the martyr		* plays the victim, the martyr, the injured
	* ~~the injured, under-reacts~~		* underreactswhen someone steps on your toes
	* cries as a manipulation tactic		* cries as a manipulation tactic
	\|
	\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|loves distraction		\|loves distraction
	~~\|makes a mess and takes time to clean-up, use projection of his shortcomings as a defense mechanism~~
	\|
	\|		\|
			* makes a mess and takes time to clean-up
			* uses projection of his shortcomings to others as a defense mechanism
	\|-		\|-
	\|is uncompromising		\|is uncompromising
	\|		\|
	* perfectionist but as a form of bargaining, with a vice "If I do this perfectly, I merit a reward"), if there is no reward, he is going to act out.		* perfectionist but as a form of bargaining, with a vice "If I do this perfectly, I merit a reward"), if there is no reward, he is going to act out.
	* self-spiteful: make you miserable just to punish someone else. E.g.: Outer can keep you/Adult Self heartbroken just to prove the injustice of the breakup.		* self-spiteful: make you miserable just to punish someone else. E.g.: Outer can keep you/Adult Self heartbroken just to prove the injustice of the breakup.
	\|
	\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|is selfish		\|is selfish
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	* defensive rather than open		* defensive rather than open
	* self-justifying rather than self-aware		* self-justifying rather than self-aware
	\|
	\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|loves blaming		\|loves blaming
	\|obsessed and intolerant with other's outer children		\|obsessed and intolerant with other's outer children
	\|
	\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|is master of disguises		\|is master of disguises
	\|		\|
	* acts pure and innocent but hides his vulnerabilities really well. E.g.: he never hates asking for direction when lost.		* acts pure and innocent but hides his vulnerabilities really well. E.g.: he never hates asking for direction when lost.
	* pleasing persona developed by Inner Child's fear of abandonment but ~~only for~~ only to prevent them from rejecting you		* pleasing persona developed by Inner Child's fear of abandonment but only to prevent them from rejecting you
	* hides mean or selfish actions by altruism/moral superiority/righteous indignation/benevolence		* hides mean or selfish actions by altruism/moral superiority/righteous indignation/benevolence
	* ~~expresses~~ anger by being overly passive		* can express anger by being overly passive
	* compliance		* compliance to make others think he does not want control
	\|		* acts and believe his own act
	\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|is demanding		\|is demanding
	\|		\|
	* people pleasing but expect something in return		* is people pleasing (but expect something in return)
	*		* seeks emotional salves from others
	\|		* cannot stand waiting
	\|		* always seeking for love insurance. E.g. Outer chases after someone and becomes his "caretaker" in hopes of becoming so valuable he will never leave.
	\|-		\|-
	\|wants now		\|wants it and now
	\|
	\|
	\|		\|
			* wants to skip the work and directly gets the benefits
	\|-		\|-
	\|loves the getting, not having		\|loves the getting, not having
	\|		\|
	\|		* loves pursuing challenging lovers and thinks unavailable people are attractive but this goes against what Inner Child wants
	\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|Is about surface		\|Is about surface
	\|		\|
			* attracted to form rather than substance, attracted to status, beauty rather than integrity and kindness
			\|-
			\|thinks it is my way or no way
	\|		\|
	\|		* thinks he is never wrong
			* keeps endless protests against reality he does not want to accepts
			* believes are for everyone else and obeys rules only not to get caught up
			* believes what it wants to believe
	\|}		\|}
	Step 1: Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child)		Step 1: Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child)

Savoundg at 06:37, 29 March 2022

2022-03-29T06:37:39Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:37, 29 March 2022
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	* emotional core, innocent, vulnerable, obstinate, selfish, impulsive, knee-jerk reaction		* emotional core, innocent, vulnerable, obstinate, selfish, impulsive, knee-jerk reaction
	* Needs to be heard and honored		* Needs to be heard and honored
			* to be ''calmed''
	\|-		\|-
	\|Outer Child		\|Outer Child
	\|		\|
	* ''acts out'' what the inner child feels inappropriately		* ''acts out'' what the inner child feels inappropriately (e.g: quick fixes)
	* developed later		* developed later
	* "yes but", self-rebellious, reactive behavior patterns, defense mechanisms		* "yes but", self-rebellious, reactive behavior patterns, defense mechanisms
Line 22:		Line 23:
	* manifests outwardly		* manifests outwardly
	* interferes in the internal dialog between Inner Child and Adult Self		* interferes in the internal dialog between Inner Child and Adult Self
			* to be ''tamed''
	\|-		\|-
	\|Adult Self		\|Adult Self
Line 28:		Line 30:
	* limit/parent Outer Child		* limit/parent Outer Child
	* achieve your goals		* achieve your goals
			* to be ''strengthen''
	\|}		\|}

	~~Step 1: Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child)~~

	=== Outer Child ===		=== Outer Child ===
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	!		!
	\|-		\|-
	\|excessive		\|is excessive
	\|spending, binge eating		\|spending, binge eating
	\|		\|
	\|		\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|drama queen		\|is drama queen
	\|		\|
	* plays the victim, the martyr		* plays the victim, the martyr
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	\|		\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|uncompromising		\|is uncompromising
	\|perfectionist but with a vice "If I do this perfectly, I ~~should get~~ a reward", if there is no reward, he is going to act out. E.g.: Outer can keep you heartbroken just to prove the injustice of the breakup.		\|
			* perfectionist but as a form of bargaining, with a vice "If I do this perfectly, I merit a reward"), if there is no reward, he is going to act out.
			* self-spiteful: make you miserable just to punish someone else. E.g.: Outer can keep you/Adult Self heartbroken just to prove the injustice of the breakup.
	\|		\|
	\|		\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|selfish		\|is selfish
	\|some hide this ~~selfishmess~~ better than others. defensive rather than open, self-justifying rather than self-aware		\|
			* some hide this selfishness better than others
			* defensive rather than open
			* self-justifying rather than self-aware
	\|		\|
	\|		\|
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	\|		\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|master of disguises		\|is master of disguises
			\|
			* acts pure and innocent but hides his vulnerabilities really well. E.g.: he never hates asking for direction when lost.
			* pleasing persona developed by Inner Child's fear of abandonment but only for only to prevent them from rejecting you
			* hides mean or selfish actions by altruism/moral superiority/righteous indignation/benevolence
			* expresses anger by being overly passive
			* compliance
			\|
			\|
			\|-
			\|is demanding
			\|
			* people pleasing but expect something in return
			*
			\|
			\|
			\|-
			\|wants now
	\|		\|
	\|		\|
	\|		\|
	\|-		\|-
			\|loves the getting, not having
			\|
			\|
	\|		\|
			\|-
			\|Is about surface
	\|		\|
	\|		\|
	\|		\|
	\|}		\|}
			Step 1: Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child)

Savoundg at 06:16, 29 March 2022

2022-03-29T06:16:38Z

@@ Line 18: / Line 18: @@
 * ''acts out'' what the inner child feels inappropriately
 * developed later
-* can be self-defeating patterns, "yes but", self-rebellious, reactive behavior patterns
+* "yes but", self-rebellious, reactive behavior patterns, defense mechanisms
 * manifests outwardly
 |-
 |Adult Self
@@ Line 26: / Line 28: @@
 * limit/parent Outer Child
 * achieve your goals
 |}

Savoundg at 06:00, 29 March 2022

2022-03-29T06:00:15Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:00, 29 March 2022
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	!Psyche Components		!Psyche Components
	!Description		!Description
	~~!Needs~~
	!
	\|-		\|-
	\|Inner Child		\|Inner Child
			(Little You)
	\|		\|
	* ''~~feels~~''		* ''feelings'', ''needs, wants''
	* ~~Emotional~~ core, innocent, vulnerable		* developed during early childhood
	* ~~needs~~ to be heard and honored		* emotional core, innocent, vulnerable, obstinate, selfish, impulsive, knee-jerk reaction
	\|		* Needs to be heard and honored
	\|
	\|-		\|-
	\|Outer Child		\|Outer Child
	\|		\|
	\|		* ''acts out'' what the inner child feels inappropriately
	\|		* developed later
			* can be self-defeating patterns, "yes but", self-rebellious, reactive behavior patterns
			* manifests outwardly
	\|-		\|-
	\|Adult Self		\|Adult Self
	\|		\|
	\|		* nurture Inner Child
	\|		* limit/parent Outer Child
			* achieve your goals
	\|}		\|}

Savoundg at 05:50, 29 March 2022

2022-03-29T05:50:36Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:50, 29 March 2022
Line 1:		Line 1:
	Outer Child theory is discovered by Susan Anderson.		Outer Child theory is discovered by Susan Anderson and described in ''Taming Your Outer Child''.

			{\| class="wikitable"
			\|+
			!Psyche Components
			!Description
			!Needs
			!
			\|-
			\|Inner Child
			\|
			* ''feels''
			* Emotional core, innocent, vulnerable
			* needs to be heard and honored
			\|
			\|
			\|-
			\|Outer Child
			\|
			\|
			\|
			\|-
			\|Adult Self
			\|
			\|
			\|
			\|}

Savoundg: Created page with "Outer Child theory is discovered by Susan Anderson."

2022-03-29T05:46:10Z

Created page with "Outer Child theory is discovered by Susan Anderson."

New page

Outer Child theory is discovered by Susan Anderson.