Outer Child: Difference between revisions

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* emotional core, innocent, vulnerable, obstinate, selfish, impulsive, knee-jerk reaction
* emotional core, innocent, vulnerable, obstinate, selfish, impulsive, knee-jerk reaction
* Needs to be heard and honored
* Needs to be heard and honored
* to be ''calmed''
|-
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|Outer Child
|Outer Child
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* ''acts out'' what the inner child feels inappropriately
* ''acts out'' what the inner child feels inappropriately (e.g: quick fixes)
* developed later
* developed later
* "yes but", self-rebellious, reactive behavior patterns, defense mechanisms
* "yes but", self-rebellious, reactive behavior patterns, defense mechanisms
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* manifests outwardly
* manifests outwardly
* interferes in the internal dialog between Inner Child and Adult Self
* interferes in the internal dialog between Inner Child and Adult Self
* to be ''tamed''
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|Adult Self
|Adult Self
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* limit/parent Outer Child
* limit/parent Outer Child
* achieve your goals
* achieve your goals
* to be ''strengthen''
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Step 1: Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child)


=== Outer Child ===
=== Outer Child ===
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!
!
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|excessive
|is excessive
|spending, binge eating
|spending, binge eating
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|drama queen
|is drama queen
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* plays the victim, the martyr
* plays the victim, the martyr
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|-
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|uncompromising
|is uncompromising
|perfectionist but with a vice "If I do this perfectly, I should get a reward", if there is no reward, he is going to act out. E.g.: Outer can keep you heartbroken just to prove the injustice of the breakup.
|
* perfectionist but as a form of bargaining, with a vice "If I do this perfectly, I merit a reward"), if there is no reward, he is going to act out.
* self-spiteful: make you miserable just to punish someone else.  E.g.: Outer can keep you/Adult Self heartbroken just to prove the injustice of the breakup.
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|
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|selfish
|is selfish
|some hide this selfishmess better than others. defensive rather than open, self-justifying rather than self-aware
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* some hide this selfishness better than others
* defensive rather than open
* self-justifying rather than self-aware
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|master of disguises
|is master of disguises
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* acts pure and innocent but hides his vulnerabilities really well.  E.g.: he never hates asking for direction when lost.
* pleasing persona developed by Inner Child's fear of abandonment but only for only to prevent them from rejecting you
* hides mean or selfish actions by altruism/moral superiority/righteous indignation/benevolence
* expresses anger by being overly passive
* compliance
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|is demanding
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* people pleasing but expect something in return
*
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|wants now
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|-
|loves the getting, not having
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|Is about surface
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Step 1: Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child)

Revision as of 06:37, 29 March 2022

Outer Child theory is discovered by Susan Anderson and described in Taming Your Outer Child.

Psyche Components Description
Inner Child

(Little You)

  • feelings, needs, wants
  • developed during early childhood
  • emotional core, innocent, vulnerable, obstinate, selfish, impulsive, knee-jerk reaction
  • Needs to be heard and honored
  • to be calmed
Outer Child
  • acts out what the inner child feels inappropriately (e.g: quick fixes)
  • developed later
  • "yes but", self-rebellious, reactive behavior patterns, defense mechanisms
  • can be self-defeating patterns
  • manifests outwardly
  • interferes in the internal dialog between Inner Child and Adult Self
  • to be tamed
Adult Self
  • nurture Inner Child
  • limit/parent Outer Child
  • achieve your goals
  • to be strengthen

Outer Child

Outer Child
is excessive spending, binge eating
is drama queen
  • plays the victim, the martyr
  • the injured, under-reacts
  • cries as a manipulation tactic
loves distraction makes a mess and takes time to clean-up, use projection of his shortcomings as a defense mechanism
is uncompromising
  • perfectionist but as a form of bargaining, with a vice "If I do this perfectly, I merit a reward"), if there is no reward, he is going to act out.
  • self-spiteful: make you miserable just to punish someone else. E.g.: Outer can keep you/Adult Self heartbroken just to prove the injustice of the breakup.
is selfish
  • some hide this selfishness better than others
  • defensive rather than open
  • self-justifying rather than self-aware
loves blaming obsessed and intolerant with other's outer children
is master of disguises
  • acts pure and innocent but hides his vulnerabilities really well. E.g.: he never hates asking for direction when lost.
  • pleasing persona developed by Inner Child's fear of abandonment but only for only to prevent them from rejecting you
  • hides mean or selfish actions by altruism/moral superiority/righteous indignation/benevolence
  • expresses anger by being overly passive
  • compliance
is demanding
  • people pleasing but expect something in return
wants now
loves the getting, not having
Is about surface

Step 1: Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child)

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