Outer Child: Difference between revisions
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Outer Child theory is discovered by Susan Anderson and described in ''Taming Your Outer Child''. | Outer Child theory is discovered by Susan Anderson and is described in ''Taming Your Outer Child''. | ||
{| class="wikitable" | {| class="wikitable" | ||
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* Needs to be heard and honored | * Needs to be heard and honored | ||
* to be ''calmed'' | * to be ''calmed'' | ||
* origin of primal fears seated in the amygdala | |||
* part of Freud's Id | |||
|- | |- | ||
|Outer Child | |Outer Child | ||
| Line 24: | Line 26: | ||
* interferes in the internal dialog between Inner Child and Adult Self | * interferes in the internal dialog between Inner Child and Adult Self | ||
* to be ''tamed'' | * to be ''tamed'' | ||
* part of Freud's Id | |||
|- | |- | ||
|Adult Self | |Adult Self | ||
| Line 37: | Line 40: | ||
|+ | |+ | ||
!Outer Child | !Outer Child | ||
! | ! | ||
|- | |- | ||
|is excessive | |is excessive | ||
|spending, binge eating | |spending, binge eating | ||
|- | |- | ||
|is drama queen | |is drama queen | ||
| | | | ||
* plays the victim, the martyr | * plays the victim, the martyr, the injured | ||
* | * underreactswhen someone steps on your toes | ||
* cries as a manipulation tactic | * cries as a manipulation tactic | ||
|- | |- | ||
|loves distraction | |loves distraction | ||
| | | | ||
* makes a mess and takes time to clean-up | |||
* uses projection of his shortcomings to others as a defense mechanism | |||
|- | |- | ||
|is uncompromising | |is uncompromising | ||
| | | | ||
* perfectionist but as a form of bargaining, with a vice "If I do this perfectly, I merit a reward"), if there is no reward, he is going to act out. | * perfectionist but as a form of bargaining, with a vice "If I do this perfectly, I merit a reward"), if there is no reward, he is going to act out. | ||
* self-spiteful: make you miserable just to punish someone else. | * self-spiteful: make you miserable just to punish someone else. E.g.: Outer can keep you/Adult Self heartbroken just to prove the injustice of the breakup. | ||
|- | |- | ||
|is selfish | |is selfish | ||
| Line 71: | Line 66: | ||
* defensive rather than open | * defensive rather than open | ||
* self-justifying rather than self-aware | * self-justifying rather than self-aware | ||
|- | |- | ||
|loves blaming | |loves blaming | ||
|obsessed and intolerant with other's outer children | |obsessed and intolerant with other's outer children | ||
|- | |- | ||
|is master of disguises | |is master of disguises | ||
| | | | ||
* acts pure and innocent but hides his vulnerabilities really well. E.g.: he never hates asking for direction when lost. | * acts pure and innocent but hides his vulnerabilities really well. E.g.: he never hates asking for direction when lost. | ||
* pleasing persona developed by Inner Child's fear of abandonment but | * pleasing persona developed by Inner Child's fear of abandonment but only to prevent them from rejecting you | ||
* hides mean or selfish actions by altruism/moral superiority/righteous indignation/benevolence | * hides mean or selfish actions by altruism/moral superiority/righteous indignation/benevolence | ||
* | * can express anger by being overly passive | ||
* compliance | * compliance to make others think he does not want control | ||
* acts and believe his own act | |||
|- | |- | ||
|is demanding | |is demanding | ||
| | | | ||
* people pleasing but expect something in return | * is people pleasing (but expect something in return) | ||
* | * seeks emotional salves from others | ||
* cannot stand waiting | |||
* always seeking for love insurance. E.g. Outer chases after someone and becomes his "caretaker" in hopes of becoming so valuable he will never leave. | |||
|- | |- | ||
|wants now | |wants it and now | ||
| | | | ||
* wants to skip the work and directly gets the benefits | |||
|- | |- | ||
|loves the getting, not having | |loves the getting, not having | ||
| | | | ||
* loves pursuing challenging lovers and thinks unavailable people are attractive but this goes against what Inner Child wants | |||
|- | |- | ||
|Is about surface | |Is about surface | ||
| | | | ||
* attracted to form rather than substance, attracted to status, beauty rather than integrity and kindness | |||
|- | |||
|thinks it is my way or no way | |||
| | | | ||
* thinks he is never wrong | |||
* keeps endless protests against reality he does not want to accepts | |||
* believes are for everyone else and obeys rules only not to get caught up | |||
* believes what it wants to believe | |||
|} | |} | ||
Step 1: Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child) | Step 1: Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child) | ||
Revision as of 06:57, 29 March 2022
Outer Child theory is discovered by Susan Anderson and is described in Taming Your Outer Child.
| Psyche Components | Description |
|---|---|
| Inner Child
(Little You) |
|
| Outer Child |
|
| Adult Self |
|
Outer Child
| Outer Child | |
|---|---|
| is excessive | spending, binge eating |
| is drama queen |
|
| loves distraction |
|
| is uncompromising |
|
| is selfish |
|
| loves blaming | obsessed and intolerant with other's outer children |
| is master of disguises |
|
| is demanding |
|
| wants it and now |
|
| loves the getting, not having |
|
| Is about surface |
|
| thinks it is my way or no way |
|
Step 1: Separate feelings (Inner Child) from behaviors (Outer Child)