Nonviolent communication glossary

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Needs

Autonomy
  • to choose one's dreams, goals, values
  • to choose one's plan for fulfilling dreams, goals, value
Celebration
  • to celebrate the creation of life and dreams fulfilled
  • to celebrate losses: loved ones, dreams, etc. (mourning)
Integrity Authenticity, creativity, meaning, self-worth
Interdependence Acceptance, appreciation, closeness, community, consideration, contribution to the enrichment of life (to exercise one's power by giving that which contributes to life), emotional safety, empathy, honesty (the empowering honesty that enables us to learn from our limitations), love, reassurance, respect, trust, understanding, warmth
Play Fun, laughter
Spiritual communion Beauty, harmony, inspiration, order, peace
Physical Nurturance Air, food, movement, exercise, protection from life-threatening forms of life (viruses, bacteria, insects, predatory animals), rest, sexual expression, shelter, touch, water

Feelings

feel
Thought expressed❌ Feeling expressed ✅
that, like, as if I feel like a failure. I feel sad.
I, you, he/she, they, it I feel I am useless. I feel disappointed.
Name or nouns referring to people I feel my boss is manipulative. I feel apprehensive.
Thought expressed❌ Feeling expressed ✅
What we think we are I feel inadequate as a guitar player. I feel disappointed in myself as a guitar player.
What we think other people are evaluating me I feel unimportant to the people with whom I work. I feel sad.
What we think other people understand I feel misunderstood. I feel anxious.
What we interpret others I feel ignored. I feel relief. (If we wanted to be alone.)

I feel hurt. (If we wanted to be involved)

As the word ignored that is used to describe an interpretation of the action of other people, abandoned, abused, attacked, betrayed, boxed-in, bullied, cheated, coerced, co-opted, cornered, diminished, distrusted, interrupted, intimidated, let, down, manipulated, misunderstood, neglected, overworked, patronized, pressured, provoked, put, down, rejected, taken, for, granted, threatened, unappreciated, unheard, unseen, unsupported, unwanted, used.

I feel ignore

F

Request

Will you be willing to

Appreciation