Negotiation
The New Rules
BATNA: Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement Getting to yes 4 principles
1) separate the person (emotion) from the problem 2) focus on their interest (why they are asking for it) rather than on their position (what they are asking for) 3) work cooperatively to generate win-win solution 4) establish mutually-agreed standards for evaluating those possible solutions
thinking fast and slow framing effect prospect theory loss aversion
Be A Mirror
Late night DJ voice
Don't Feel Their Pain, Label It
Tactical empathy
That's right instead of yes
- It seems like ...
- It sounds like ...
- It looks like ...
[silence and listen]
If they disagree with the label, "I didn't say that was what it was. I just said it seems like that."
Labelling negatives diffuses them, Labelling positives reinforces them.
Diffuse mistakes/negatives/other people's anger quickly by acknowledging them as soon as possible: "Look, I'm an asshole".
"Best way to deal with negativity is to observe it, [...], label each negative feeling and replace with solution-based thoughts"
accusation audit: list everything your counterpart could say
Quotes
"Never be so sure about what you want" Voss
"If somebody is talking to you, you got something they want" Voss