Negotiation

The New Rules

BATNA: Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement

Getting to yes with 4 principles

1) separate the person (emotion) from the problem

2) focus on their interest (why they are asking for it) rather than on their position (what they are asking for)

3) work cooperatively to generate win-win solution

4) establish mutually-agreed standards for evaluating those possible solutions

thinking fast and slow

framing effect

prospect theory

loss aversion

Be A Mirror

Late night DJ voice

Don't Feel Their Pain, Label It

Tactical empathy

"That's right" instead of "yes"

• It seems like ...
• It sounds like ...
• It looks like ...

[silence and listen]

If they disagree with the label, "I didn't say that was what it was. I just said it seems like that."

Labelling negatives diffuses them, Labelling positives reinforces them.

Diffuse mistakes/negatives/other people's anger quickly by acknowledging them as soon as possible: "Look, I'm an asshole".

"Best way to deal with negativity is to observe it, [...], label each negative feeling and replace with solution-based thoughts"

accusation audit: list everything your counterpart could say

Beware Yes, Master No

Yes and no are often worthless.

No:

• always alters conversation
• start of the negotiation
• provides protection: protects yourself and let the counterpart more easily consider the possibilities
• frequently temporary
• sought by great negotiators

Give the adversary permission to say "no", then the negotiation environment becomes more constructive and collaborative. Letting the counterpart feel they are welcome to say no has a positive impact.

No may mean: I am not ready yet.

3 kind of yes:

• counterfeit: escape route/keep conversation going
• confirmation: innocent and no promise of action
• commitment: real deal

Quotes

• "Never be so sure about what you want"
• "If somebody is talking to you, you got something they want"

Resources

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guZa7mQV1l0